fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
