Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
