Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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