Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
