So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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