I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize