Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
