we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
