I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize