Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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