Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
