I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
