what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
