If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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