So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
