gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
