I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
