i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
