Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
