Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize