Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
