If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
