he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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