Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
