I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
