I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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