You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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