why didn't you poke me back
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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