More tranny stories later!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
