we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
