it hurts more in the daytime
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
