Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
