There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
