You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
