i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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