I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize