Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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