I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize