So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
