He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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