it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
