Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
