I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
