He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
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