He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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