at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
honey bunches of taint.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
