You work out of a Hotel?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Alive.
So much puke
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
