i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she pinky promised me she was 18
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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