your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
