Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize