I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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