He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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