rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize