I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
