The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The power of my boobs compel you
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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