just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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