I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
