I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
