No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
