When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
