when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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