New invention idea: vibrating tampons
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
